South Australia: Apart from beautiful Kangaroo Island, the place really doesn't have many redeeming features. Of all the Australian states and territories, it has the highest unemployment rate, the highest obesity rate, and the second-lowest mean household income. Despite its relative lack of amenities and opportunities, South Australia costs more to run per capita than any other state in Australia, thanks to years of stagnation and government ineptitude. Despite its economic disadvantage, the state has the highest fees and fines in the nation; its leaders are so lacking in strategy and vision, their only ongoing strategy to increase much-needed revenue is to tax and fine their constituency higher and harder. South Australia's traffic fine system, in fact, has been dubbed the "most unfair traffic fine system" in the nation.
So lacking are the opportunities in SA, it is now pinning its hopes on economic recovery by becoming a dump site for the world's nuclear waste.
And, as anyone in the know (from both sides of the law) will tell you, the place is a well-known drug hub in a country that, along with New Zealand, has the highest rate of recreation drug use in the world.
Thanks to its lack of amenities and social and economic opportunities, South Australia has an unusually large exodus of people fleeing to the Eastern states in search of a better life.
And so it is not entirely surprising that from this economically deprived, socially barren wasteland emerges two of the most bizarre figures in the entire diet and 'health' arena: Internet troll Harley “Durianrider” Johnstone and his partner Leanne Olivia Ratcliffe (who goes by the nicknames “Freelee” and “Banana Girl”).
This bogan duo’s primary claim to fame is – wait for it - gorging on bananas. The two run a website called 30 Bananas a Day, and Johnstone’s email signature includes the proud claim “i eat up to 70 bananas a day..check our site at www.30bananasaday.com”[sic].
A Youtube video titled “Watch me eat 51 BANANAS today!!!!!” shows Ratcliff blending 51 bananas, then consuming the resultant stream of mush all in one sitting. After this bizarre display of fruitarian lunacy, Ratcliff proudly displays her engorged gut before telling viewers “go fruit or root yourself” (“root” is often used in Australian vernacular as a substitute for “fuck”).
In her Youtube videos, Ratcliffe also boasts of showering only once or twice per week and of peeing in a bucket instead of the lavatory (partner Johnstone reportedly prefers a bottle…)[3,4].
If the bizarre antics of Johnstone and Ratcliffe were limited simply to such attention-seeking Youtube displays, maybe they would’ve long ago been written off as an irrelevant oddity. Unfortunately, the Adelaide odd couple’s behavior isn’t limited to poor hygiene and dietary exhibitionism. They aggressively market themselves as nutrition experts and paragons of a healthy lifestyle, and have vigorously encouraged others to adopt their fruitarian ways, using hyperbolic health claims as their bait.
You’d have to be pretty bloody gullible to take seriously the ridiculous dietary recommendations of people like Johnstone and Ratcliffe, but as history has repeatedly shown, the human species suffers no shortage of credulous fools. As H. L. Mencken once noted, “Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.” If Mencken had spent time in Australia, he no doubt would’ve reached a similar conclusion about residents of the land Down Under. Like the US, Australians suffer unusually high rates of obesity and eagerly embrace all manner of fad diets and health scams.
Capitalizing on the fact many people will believe pretty much anything, Johnstone and Ratcliffe have attracted something of a cult Internet following. And despite the clearly idiotic nature of their dietary recommendations, they’ve even featured on a number of mainstream Australian TV segments. As with American journalists, Australian reporters are often unquestioning individuals of dubious intelligence who place a story’s rating potential far above its veracity and quality.
Not surprisingly, many of Johnstone’s and Ratcliffe’s followers have seen their health quickly deteriorate after adopting what has to be one of the more patently absurd fads to emerge from the Suckernet in a long, long time.
Symptoms reported by followers of their “8/1/1” and “Raw Till 4” vegan diets on the 30 Bananas a Day forum include debilitating fatigue and muscle pain, joint pain, worsening depression and irritability, rapid weight gain, intense stomach pain, severe chest pain, “crippling”, intense”, “terrible” and “agonizing” back pain, gallbladder and liver pain, heart pain, foot pain, tooth/gum/jaw pain, throat pain, bloating, diarrhea, nausea, and hair loss.
Here's just a sampling, taken from their own website, of the many health problems people have experienced after adopting the absurd dietary recommendations of Johnstone and Ratcliffe:
Update, March 7, 2016: A reader alerted me this morning that after this article went live on March 3, Johnstone, Ratcliff and/or someone acting on their behalf has been busy removing the unflattering content of the pages below. I checked, and sure enough, many of the links are now returning "Page Not Found" messages. As usual, the dodgey vegan duo are desperately trying to hide the truth about their dangerous dietary recommendations.
Update, March 8, 2016: Another reader has kindly written to point out that Google keeps cached webpages. Most of these are still available and can be found by doing a Google search of the web address/URL. Clicking on the Google result link will show the page no longer exists. But to the right of the link on the Google search there is usually a downwards pointing arrow. If you click on this, you are offered a cached version of the webpage.
Tooth, gum and jaw pain
Bloating, diarrhea, nausea
Gallbladder and liver pain
Yep, their diets sound like real winners.
One individual who - clearly against her better judgement - decided to “go fruit herself” was Sandra Bachiyr, from New South Wales. Suckered by the “unlimited calories” exhortations of Johnstone and Ratcliff, who claimed eating ungodly amounts of fruit would not make you fat, she started eating ungodly amounts of fruit … and became fat.
And very sick.
Bachiyr says she began "the 30 bananas a day diet" in January 2012, and it was all downhill from there: "I was rushed to hospital on July 20th, 2012 and nearly died from a pulmonary embolism caused by my weight gain from their high-sugar diet."
When Bachiyr began blogging about her experiences to warn others, Johnstone and Ratcliff automatically resorted to their usual defense strategy: Malicious lies and thinly veiled threats. They posted a PDF on their site in which Johnstone claimed Bachiyr had been "banned off YouTube for using CHILD PORNOGRAPHY pictures she would photo Freelee’s face onto!!!”[sic].
Accusing someone of child porn is a pretty serious matter. Johnstone assures his readers he has screenshots of the offending images but says they are “too graphic to share”. Someone needs to inform Johnstone that storing pornographic images of kids on your computer is a very serious crime here in Australia. Or maybe he simply has no such screenshots; when Bachiyr publicly offered Johnstone $10,000 to prove his slanderous claims about her, the loud-mouthed vegan suddenly went silent.
It goes without saying that only an utter lowlife would falsely accuse someone of child pornography. Johnstone and Ratcliffe, however, have no compunction about concocting malicious bullshit about the objects of their disaffection, then posting it on the Internet in the hopes their equally stupid followers will believe it.
Harley Johnstone: A Cycling Legend in his Own Mind
In January 2012, a reader from Melbourne emailed a link to a forum post where Johnstone was claiming he’d challenged me to come riding with him but I’d demurred due to fear of having my ‘ass kicked’. According to Johnstone, yours truly “doesnt want to hit the local bergs with me cos he knows I will kick his a’ss and make a blog post about it lol!) Come on AC, step up brah! Corkscrew is only 2.56km!”[sic]
Johnstone, shameless liar that he is, had made no such challenge. In fact, prior to reading the blog post I had no idea who Johnstone was. Nonetheless, I happily called his bluff with one small proviso: Johnstone had to match my bodyweight (at the time, I weighed a muscular 81kg, the scrawny Johnstone claimed to weigh 66kg). A light bodyweight is a huge advantage in road cycling, especially when climbing hills, which is why most elite and professional road cyclists are so tiny (sprint track cyclists, on the other hand, tend to be built like brick outhouses). So to be sure whoever won the race up Corkscrew Road did so on the basis of superior fitness and not favourable physics, it was only fair the lighter person either bulked up or donned a weight vest to eliminate the weight difference (my stipulation was actually still in Johnstone’s favour, as his claimed height of 6’6” is several inches taller than mine. By all rights, I should have calculated my weight per inch of height then applied the resultant figure to his height, which would have resulted in an even higher target bodyweight for Johnstone).
Once again, when called on his self-aggrandizing hogwash the normally vocal Johnstone suddenly suffered stage fright, and ignored my acceptance of his challenge. He did, however, continue to talk trash about me on his website forum.
“I’m a 1%er!”
And so I decided to issue a little challenge of my own. I once read a post in which the emaciated Johnstone claimed to be among the top 1% of strongest people in the world (!), even though Youtube footage shows him struggling to bench press a pathetic 65kg for a mere six reps:
I invited the hopelessly deluded Johnstone to showcase his self-perceived superhuman strength to the world in the form of a powerlifting contest. There are plenty of gyms in Adelaide at which Johnstone and I could have faced off on the squat, deadlift and bench. But once again, the motor-mouthed vegan suddenly became gun-shy.
This kind of behavior is par for the course with Johnstone. He loves to boast about his physical prowess and especially goes out of his way to portray himself as an outstanding cyclist. However, his proof of this is limited to posting (unverifiable) Strava times and ride mileages on the Internet, practices that simply don’t cut it given Australia’s abundant bicycle racing opportunities. While Adelaide is hardly the most exciting city in Australia, it does have a robust cycling scene with plenty of clubs and weekly racing events (world class road and track cyclists including Anna Meares, Rohan Dennis and Jack Bobridge call Adelaide home). The city also hosts periodic hill-climbing time trials. Thus, there are abundant competitive opportunities for Johnstone to display his self-proclaimed cycling abilities.
But he doesn’t.
I can only surmise that, judging from his posted times and his performances on group rides with other local cyclists I’ve spoken to, Johnstone knows full well he’d get his ass handed to him in the intermediate category – by guys who are ten years older, hold full-time jobs, and whose idea of ‘doping’ is enjoying a double-shot espresso before a big ride.
Yep, much easier to brag about your Strava times on the Internet than actually get out and prove yourself against real cyclists. After it became clear to me Johnstone was all talk and no action, I promptly wrote him off as the attention-seeking buffoon he was and went about my business.
Things soon took a more sinister turn, though. Johnstone makes his living from advertising revenues garnered every time someone clicks on one of his Youtube videos (free tip: If you don’t want to financially support this repugnant individual, don’t click on his videos). When Johnstone perceives that this income stream is under threat due to what he regards as unfair aspersions on his impeccable character, we get to see the real Johnstone in all his angry, hateful glory.
In early 2012, ex-vegan Tom Billings created a post on the Beyondveg.com website titled “Investigating Raw Vegan and Other Diet Gurus: Can You Trust Them?” Billings has written extensively about his experiences in the fruitarian and raw vegan movements, and the hostility and hypocrisy that abounds within them. His 2012 post catalogues a long list of both proven and alleged misdeeds by vegan diet gurus. One of those who got a mention was Johnstone, who has admitted he previously received disability welfare payments for a period of time after allegedly being hit by a bus whilst riding his bike. Billings had linked to a blogger who claimed the dates of cycling performances Johnstone had boasted about on the Internet coincided with the time frame he was reportedly receiving the disability payments. While Billings linked to the blog post in question, he made no accusations himself; he merely noted that the allegations had been made. After discovering Billing’s new post, I wrote a brief heads-up for it on my own website. My article summarized the key points of Billings’ post, and briefly noted in a throwaway sentence:
“Raw vegan and serial attention-whore Harley ‘Durianrider’ Johnstone also gets a few mentions as well, for allegations of welfare fraud and physical threats against fellow vegan David Wolfe.”
Like Billings, I made no accusations of my own – I simply reported allegations had been made by others, something virtually every newspaper in the world does on a daily basis. The thin-skinned Johnstone, however, promptly choked on whatever number banana he was up to for that day and went ape. He began emailing me with demands to remove the mention of welfare fraud (he did not deny and in fact laughed off the threats made against Wolfe, which were the subject of a California lawsuit, as “fun”). When these emails went unanswered, he threatened to release my books onto torrent file-sharing websites:
“Im gonna go to bed and if I don't see that sentence about 'Durianrider is a welfare fraud' removed by the time I get up to go training in the morning, magically I can only imagine your books are gonna be put on the torrents and spammed all over the relevant forums. Not to mention I assume some people might make up some nasty shit about you and spread it all over my social media channels to a few hundred thousand people over the next few years.
Its better to be on my right side than wrong side bro. So when the spammers start spamming about AC on my turf that I will take care of it for you vs leave it up and pretend I don't see it.
Wow, what a tough guy (not to mention a moron: Let the record show there was no sentence stating “Durainrider is a welfare fraud”). I’m not sure where Johnstone got the idea I take orders from emaciated assholes, but nonetheless I left the post as it was, and you can still read it in its original entirety at:
Be sure to check it out!
Having failed miserably in his laughable attempt to come off like an intimidating Internet hardman, the stick-figured Johnstone then moved onto his next phase: Posting blatant lies about me on his website in a desperate attempt to discredit me. Yep, according to Johnstone, I was an obese steroid user who lived off welfare blah blah blah. Using the alias “Adelaide Andy”, Johnstone claimed that in 2005 I trained with him at an Adelaide Fitness First gym and that he sold steroids to me. And here’s the serial moron, using the same alias, claiming that I wrote a blog about how I take steroids (!):
Notice how Johnstone provides no screenshots or even hyperlinks to this alleged blog. There’s a reason for that:
It never existed.
Yep, Johnstone’s sleazy campaign was disingenuous from the outset, due to several key flaws.
Firstly, if you’re going to use a false name to post malicious nonsense about someone, it’s probably a good idea to do it from a different IP address than the one associated with your real name!
Secondly, it’s extremely dimwitted to claim you sold steroids to and trained alongside someone in an Adelaide gym when at the time that someone was well known to live interstate in Melbourne, Victoria (some 900 km from Adelaide). Not to mention that I've never even set foot in a Fitness First gym, let alone trained in one.
Thirdly, it’s especially stupid to carry on like steroid usage is some kind of supreme evil - then admit you yourself sold steroids.
Fourth, it's especially stupid to carry on like steroid usage is some kind of supreme evil when you use them yourself, and even post footage of yourself proudly waving around a vial of the steroid Sustanon 250, bragging about how easy it is to get a doctor's script for them in Thailand, and boasting about the huge quantity of steroids you have at your place (see further down for video footage).
And finally, it’s really, really stupid to throw such an unbecoming tantrum over allegations of welfare fraud when you have publicly encouraged people to commit credit card fraud! Yep, when one of his US followers complained they couldn’t afford to attend a vegan festival in the US, Johnstone imparted the following advice:
“Get a credit card and max it out. You don’t have to pay it back. NOBODY got put in jail cos they couldn’t pay a personal credit debt in the US.”
Like most of what Johnstone says, this is rubbish. As this article from Minnesota’s Star Tribune explains, people in the USA have indeed been arrested and jailed for failing to repay credit card debts as small as $250:
Clearly, intelligence is not one of Johnstone’s strong points.
After I went to the trouble and expense of hiring a lawyer, Johnstone stopped emailing me under his real name, but continued to taunt me via a fake alias, claimed I was "obese" on his website, and refused to take down the patently defamatory material he had already posted about me.
The Attention-Seeking and Lies Continue
Some people never learn their lesson. In early 2015, South Australia’s daily newspaper was reporting on a feud that had erupted between Johnstone, Ratcliffe and another Adelaide resident, this time a personal trainer by the name of Kayla Itsines who authored a book called The Bikini Body Guide. Itsines and her boyfriend Tobias Pearce were the latest targets of Johnstone's and Ratcliffe’s “ambush marketing” strategy of provoking well-known fitness commentators with their usual mix of fallacious bullshit and malicious cheap shots. Among documents tendered by Itsinis’ lawyer was Johnstone’s book Carb the Fuck Up!, in which the feral fruit-gorger boasts he’s “not here to make friends” and “doesn’t care” who he offends while making $10,000 a month from his various YouTube channels. The following passages are especially revealing:
“Yep, easy money isn’t it just for doing videos on health, sharks, bike stuff and pimping out my girlfriend ... hey, sex sells and so does the fear of sharks ... We troll the internet with the health message and use whatever means possible to get that message out there ... swearing, sharks or cleavage usually works pretty good ... I’m 37, (have) zero debt (and have) enough money in the bank to retire in about 100 different countries for the rest of my life ... thanks, YouTube!”
And thanks Johnstone, for revealing the real reason you are so militant with your ‘health’ message: Not to educate people or fight misinformation (bit hard to do that when you’re a reckless disseminator of dangerous hogwash yourself) but to make money. I suspected this all along, but nice to hear it straight from the horse’s mouth.
Interestingly, Johnstone is fond of portraying the relationship between himself and Ratcliff as one of pimp and prostitute. In addition to the Carb the Fuck Up! excerpts, here’s a revealing reply he left to a Youtube comment:
It must take a special kind of girl - one with exceedingly low self-esteem - to put up with that kind of crap. Or maybe money really does have a way of helping people suppress whatever remaining shred of dignity they had left …
At any rate, Johnstone's unbecoming remarks are hardly surprising given the generally poor regard in which he holds women. According to Johnstone: "Most women out there, most girls, 16-25 year old, most, not all, most, are basic handbag-wearing bitches."
Johnstone, explaining how he really feels about women, and also inadvertently explaining how he's managed to attract such a sizable and gullible following.
What a charmer.
Harley Johnstone: The "Anti-Steroid" User of Steroids
Itsines launched her court action after Johnstone and Ratcliffe publicly claimed The Bikini Body Guide "starves people". They also claimed Pearce used steroids. This, as you may by now have surmised, is another longstanding tactic of Johnstone; when he comes across pictures of someone who is bigger and stronger than he is - which is pretty much every other male in the fitness industry - Johnstone promptly accuses them, without any proof whatsoever, of using steroids. Heaven forbid Johnstone consider the real reason those people are bigger and stronger than him is because, unlike him, they eat an adequate diet and are capable of applying sound resistance training principles.
And here's the real cracker:
After years of belittling and falsely accusing others of steroid use, Johnstone has finally admitted to what many of us suspected all along: He uses them himself.
Yep, when others [allegedly] use steroids, Johnstone rails like a brimstone preacher, but when he uses them, it's for "dental surgery" (?) and an "experiment".
"Doc, I've got this really buffed molar that's bothering me!"
"Gee, son, you'll definitely need an eight-week course of Sustanon 250 to deal with that!"
The guy is a pathetic, shameless hypocrite.
Johnstone, rampant bullshit-peddler that he is, would have us believe that he no longer uses the gear. But in the video below, Johnstone proudly wields a vial of Sustanon 250 (a popular anabolic drug comprised of four different testosterone esters), and boasts of the large volume of steroids he still has at his place. He boasts of how easy it is to get a doctor's prescription (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) for the gear in Thailand, and describes how folks outside of Thailand can obtain steroids - specifically testosterone enanthate - by deceiving their doctors. Those unaware of these deceitful tactics for obtaining anabolic drugs are labelled dumb "mother****ers" by Johnstone.
Why does Johnstone still have such a large stash of roids at his house if he is no longer using them? Why does Johnstone need a prescription for Sustanon 250? Have his bizarre dietary and lifestyle habits rendered him hypogonadal? If so, he may have a legitimate medical need for them. But treatment of hypogonadism (clinically established low testosterone levels) requires only modest doses of anabolic agents so, again, why does Johnstone have such a large stash at his place?
Or is the truth that he uses them (unsuccessfully, it would seem) to stem the catabolic and emaciating effects of his protein- and nutrient-deficient diet and high-volume exercise regime? If the latter is the case, then he's using them for the very same reason he indiscriminately and falsely attacks others for:
Loads of "Sustanon Two-fitty" and the guy is still built like an undernourished broomstick. That 65 kg bench press is starting to look even more pathetic now.
And this huckster presents himself as an expert on diet and fitness training ...
If Johnstone is hypogonadal, whatever happened to the magnificent health effects of his bizarre vegan diet that he incessantly wanks on about? If all his "RT4", "80/10/10", vegan/fruitarian carry on is truly so healthy, why does he need injectable steroids to keep his hormone levels up?
Further evidence that Johnstone is nowhere near as healthy as he would have us believe comes from the following blood work he posted on YouTube:
Those of you with even a modicum of medical knowledge will have immediately noticed Johnstone's white blood cell count is way out of the normal range. This is pretty much a flashing red light that reads "IMMUNE DYSFUNCTION!"
Johnstone claims this elevated WBC is from "stress". Not sure what kind of immune-thrashing stress you encounter when your whole life revolves around bumming in Thailand and posting crap on the internet - maybe being one of the most hated people on the Internet is finally starting to get to the poor dear. Two other possible scenarios immediately come to mind:
--Johnstone has picked up some nasty-ass infection. I'll refrain from speculating on exactly what kind of infection he might have picked up in a place like Thailand.
--Johnstone's body is struggling to meet the demands of his (claimed) high volume running and cycling regimen while following his protein- and nutrient-deficient vegan diet.
This is another thing I can't emphasize enough to people: Most of these so-called diet and health gurus, who claim to be in possession of superhuman health as a result of following the diet they are trying to sell you, are usually in possession of no such thing. Harley Johnstone carries on like he's the guv'ner, but his blood test results evince a guy whose immune system is about as robust as a wet noodle.
It's also worth noting that, despite his claims he no longer takes steroids, he did not post any blood testosterone results in the aforementioned video. Hmmm ...
Coke, Speed and Friends Who Eat Poo
I should point out at this juncture I personally believe the decision to use steroids should be an individual matter, so long as the person is a grown adult who does not compete in a sport with an anti-doping code. I find it nothing short of insane that anyone over the age of eighteen (here in Australia) is perfectly free to smoke cancer-causing cigarettes and pound their liver into oblivion with an endless array of alcoholic beverages, but faces criminal prosecution lest they dare use even low-dose steroids to gain a few pounds of muscle and push their squat poundage a bit higher. But while I remain distinctly unimpressed by the reigning anti-steroid hysteria, I do think using drugs like cocaine and methamphetamines is truly stupid, and Johnstone freely admits to having used both in the past:
I will also state without any hesitation whatsoever that I believe taking steroids is far more healthful and infinitely preferable to eating one's own faeces, another repulsive activity that leaves Johnstone unfazed. In a 2009 post he proudly stated:
"ive got a mate that eats his own crap. and i think its cool that he speaks openly about it but i don't think its a health building practise."[sic]
Yeah, me neither.
Anyway, on March 31, 2015, Ratcliffe and Johnstone consented to a settlement and thereby avoided a trial for alleged defamation. The duo agreed to take down YouTube videos critical of Itsines, and further agreed not to produce any further videos "nor speak to electronic or print media about Ms Itsines or her boyfriend, bodybuilder Tobias Pearce." Sounds pretty clear and simple to me, but when asked outside court, the semi-literate Johnstone said he was “not too clear” on what the settlement entailed other than “basically keep your opinion to yourself.”
No Johnstone, it means don't concoct blatant lies about people and post it on the Internet. Doing so isn't exercising freedom of speech, it's being a malicious asshole.
As is threatening to cut people’s throats.
Yep, Harley the wanna-be hardman isn’t above threatening to slash people’s throats when they criticize his dubious claims and idiotic antics. Over the Internet of course, where the object of his disaffection can’t slash back. Again, here’s Johnstone in all his psychopathic glory, threatening to cut a Gold Coast reader’s throat:
Gee, that’s not very becoming behavior for a “Vegan Athlete driven & dedicated to making a positive impact for all beings on the planet”, is it now? (This was Johnstone’s byline on his Twitter page as of June 29, 2015).
More Deluded Bullshit from Doucherider
It has now come to my attention that serial liar Johnstone recently claimed I "sucker punched" him whilst he was riding his bicycle. He also claims that while this occurred, I let my "pitbull" off the leash, presumably so it could attack him.
A couple of wee problems with this latest Johnstone excursion into la-la land:
-I don't have a pit bull*;
-If I punched Johnstone, the creep would still be in intensive care.
Johnstone has posted two videos in which makes the serious and false allegation that I "sucker punched" him in the face while he was riding his bicycle up a "15% gradient" hill.
In one of these videos, he claims this punch sent him "flying off" his bike and that his bike went "flying in the air". He also claims his bike was "destroyed". He also claims he was "a little bit concussed". To emphasize just how hard this alleged strike was, Johnstone throws a punch in the air and exclaims "BOOM!"
However, in the other video, he claims that after this same alleged concussion-inducing, bike-destroying assault he got right back on his bike and continued riding up and down the 15% gradient hill until midnight.
To claim he could get right back on his bike and continue riding up and down a steep hill for several hours after being even mildly "concussed" is a stretch; to mount a "destroyed" bike and continue riding it for several hours is impossible.
Furthermore, despite allegedly being hit in the face with a "BOOM!"-force punch that was so powerful it sent both him and his bike "flying", neither of the videos evince any indication of injury to Mr Johnstone's face, ugly as it is. Not a bruise, not a scratch, not a mark of any sort that would be expected if he was forcefully hit in the face.
Given these contradictory facts, and Johnstone's long history as a deranged, pathological liar, you folks can figure out the rest for yourself.
Before I conclude, however, I will say one last thing to Johnstone:
you like to promote yourself as a fearless stand-up guy, and it's clear you think of yourself as something of a fearsome vegan gangster. And as history has amply demonstrated, you're pretty damn quick to issue nasty insults and threats over the Internet.
Several years back, of your own volition and without any provocation on my part whatsoever, you started talking shit about me on the Internet. This progressed to outright defamation, and thinly veiled threats emailed by yourself to me.
Harley boy, for once in your life, it's time to stop being a little coward who hides behind his computer and step up and face the people you so eagerly attack from behind the safety of your screen. It's time to show the world you can say to someone's face the shit you say online.
As you clearly dislike me and have spent an inordinate amount of time and energy defaming and threatening me, I think it's time we stepped into the ring and sorted this out one on one, like real men.
Are you a real man, Johnstone? Or are you forever going to be a cowardly little piss ant troll who hides behind his computer screen?
Are you a man, or are you a little coward who starts trembling at the knees, verges on crying, quickly runs to hide behind his friends, and has this weird nervous spasm thing going on in his neck when you're finally confronted by someone in real life who you've gleefully attacked online?
Are you a real man, or a sleazy little sook who has to falsely claim he was "sucker-punched" while riding his bike, in an attempt to cover for your astronomical cowardice?
You might be able to fool your idiotic readers, but you know what really happened. It must be terrible having to live with yourself. You know, being such a lying weasel and all.
C'mon Johnstone ... instead of threatening people online, and sending thinly-veiled threats disguised as an invitation to folks like Sandra Bachiyr to "meet up for lunch", why don’t you meet up with me - inside a ring? You have a pretty bloody big mouth when it comes to threatening women, and taking cheap shots at people from behind the safety of your computer screen – why don’t we see how that works out for you when you’re in front of an angry recipient of your unbridled venom, one whose fists and elbows are within smashing distance of your jaw?
C'mon Johnstone ... if you're going to persist with this hardman routine of yours, then you need to grow some balls and show that you wouldn't write anything about someone that you're not prepared to say to their face. A real hardman doesn't mouth off online, then run like a little bitch to the police making false and malicious allegations about someone. You know, just like you've done.
You are pathetic, Johnstone. Absolutely, incurably pathetic.
You're the most cowardly, vile, repugnant figure in the entire diet and health arena. Given the rampant proliferation of nut-jobs in said arena, that's really saying something.
Contact me when you grow a pair,
Update 30-8-2016: It's been six months since this post was first published, and Johnstone - the wanna-be tough guy who loudly boasts about having been to prison, about having a criminal record, about having gotten into heaps of fights, about being a trained kickboxer - has not responded to my offer to meet in the ring.
And it's been almost six months since I publicly offered Johnstone AU $10,000 if he could back up his claim that he possessed video footage of me "sucker punching" him:
That's right, Johnstone publicly claimed he had the whole thing on camera. Rather curious, then, that this footage - which would prove his claims beyond a doubt - has never been posted. Nor has it ever been handed to the police, despite the conclusive proof it would provide of his allegations.
The reason this footage has never been posted or handed to the police is simple: It doesn't exist. You see, it's kind of hard to film something that never happened. No surprise then, that Johnstone - money-worshipping grub that he is - has not come forward with this mystery footage.
Also, it recently came to my attention that someone, whose name I'm guessing rhymes with Harley Johnstone, created a fake YouTube account under the name "Anthony Colpo" and had used this fake account to post incriminating comments under the two defamatory "sucker punch" videos Johnstone has posted.
After alerting YouTube, the fake account has since been cancelled:
For those who can't read Italian, the highlighted text at the above link basically says "This account has been closed due to a violation of YouTube's policy prohibiting identity theft."
Yep, he's a real piece of work, this Harley Johnstone.
Harley “Durianrider” Johnstone: Liar, hypocrite, braggart, coward, former cocaine and meth user, owner and apparent user of large quantities of steroids, self-proclaimed “pimp”, friend of people who (literally) eat shit, and living proof that anyone who claims meat avoidance promotes a “peaceful nature” and has a “calming effect” is completely full of shit.
The only individuals more pathetic than Johnstone are those of you who actually take him seriously. To each and every Johnstone follower out there, consider this: Your mother went through a whole bunch of pain passing a watermelon-sized package to bring you into this world, then had to spend the next couple of years wiping your butt and cleaning up your puke. Your parents then spent countless hours and hundreds of thousands of dollars to feed, house and put you through school - and you thank them by growing up to be some brain-dead twat who earnestly believes the dietary advice disseminated by a couple of feral, bucket-pissing, banana-gorging, hate-mongering bogan vegans.
Note: If you find Johnstone's behaviour as repugnant as I do, have been the victim of his sleazy, defamatory, attention-grabbing online antics, or know someone who is contemplating following his dangerous dietary advice, then please feel free to share this article far and wide.
*In the US the term "pit bull" is a catch-all phrase used to describe a variety of muscular dogs, but here in Australia (where Johnstone falsely claimed the "sucker punch" attack occurred), it is common knowledge that the term "pit bull" refers to two specific and distinctive-looking dog breeds: The American Pit Bull Terrier and English Bull Terrier. As beautiful as these breeds are, I own neither.
- See copies of Johnstone’s emails at: Colpo A. Durianrider: 66 Kilograms of Obnoxious, Unabashed Ignorance. com, Jan 22, 2012. Available online: http://anthonycolpo.com/durianrider-66-kilograms-of-obnoxious-unabashed-ignorance/
- Video titled "Watch me eat 51 BANANAS today!!!!!" posted by Ratcliff under the pseudonym "Freelee the Banana Girl". Youtube (accessed June 27, 2015): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtgS7vSSIJQ
- Freelee the Banana Girl. I don't WASH anymore - the NO WASH test. Youtube, Feb 28, 2013. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZNdQU8hb88
- Freelee the Banana Girl. Why I PEE in a bucket... Youtube, Published on Mar 20, 2013. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hk2EbtZJxg
- See: Bachyr S. "Terminate Freelee the Banana Girl and Durianrider's Multiple YouTube Accounts and Internet Sites and Ban Them for Life." Change.org. Available online (accessed June 27, 2015): https://www.change.org/p/youtube-terminate-freelee-the-banana-girl-and-durianrider-s-multiple-youtube-accounts-and-internet-sites-and-ban-them-for-life.
- The PDF in question was posted on the 30 Bananas a Day site at http://www.30bananasaday.com/forum/topics/durianrider-freelee-share-the-truth and can be viewed directly at http://api.ning.com/files/m5DCNqwNmKaDUauH-woVue-V5xlZequ7e52Et5jfcJelHulOox1OdO90wkRIE*M-kHYyBBgz5F3u1FKdy77NY3mZetnTEor*/Gimmetruthdoc.pdf (both links accessed June 26, 2015).
- Colpo A. Durianrider: 66 Kilograms of Obnoxious, Unabashed Ignorance. AnthonyColpo.com, Jan 22, 2012. Available online: http://anthonycolpo.com/durianrider-66-kilograms-of-obnoxious-unabashed-ignorance/
- In road cycling, heavier riders - no matter how lean, fit and strong they may be - suffer a distinct disadvantage due to the extra weight they must propel. Upper body musculature, while eminently useful in a whole host of other sports and activities, is essentially dead weight in road cycling, which is why most pro road cyclists have upper body development approaching pre-pubescent levels. Furthermore, larger riders possess greater frontal surface areas, which greatly increases air drag. Here’s a novel experiment captured on video, conducted at the University of Bath, capturing the energy-draining effect of bike heavier bike and rider weight:
- Along with Elgin Intensity’s hilarious video, Johnstone's less-than-impressive bench press attempt is recorded in "The Durianrider Fitness Test: Durianrider VS the trolls. Who is fitter AND stronger? ;)", Youtube, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ez5pP2PSkgg (accessed June 29, 2015).
- Fewster S. Bikini Girl versus Banana Girl: starlet’s boyfriend says he makes $10K ‘pimping her out’ on YouTube. The Advertiser, March 26, 2015. Available online (accessed June 29, 2015): http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/news/south-australia/bikini-girl-versus-banana-girl-starlets-boyfriend-says-he-makes-10k-pimping-her-out-on-youtube/story-fni6uo1m-1227279997668
- Fewster S. SA court told fitness guru Kayla Itsines and Freelee the Banana Girl have settled their defamation stoush without trial. The Courier Mail, March 31, 2015. Available online (accessed June 29, 2015): http://m.couriermail.com.au/news/national/sa-court-told-fitness-guru-kayla-itsines-and-freelee-the-banana-girl-have-settled-their-defamation-stoush-without-trial/story-fnii5yv5-1227286028720