Update [Nov 9, 2017]: The original version of this article included commentary about Leanne "Freelee" Ratcliffe, former partner of the sleazebag Harley "Durianrider" Johnstone. I don't think I'm saying anything revolutionary when I point out that Ratcliffe's behaviour during her time with Johnstone was less than sterling. However, not only has she since dumped the sad, physically abusive sack of shit that is Johnstone, but two individuals who know her personally have assured me she is turning a new leaf and working hard to "deprogram" from her ex-partner's bullshit. Because I have no personal gripe with Ratcliffe, I have removed as much mention of her as possible from this article. Call it censorship if you will - I call it "giving people a second chance." For the record, neither of the aforementioned individuals, nor Ratcliffe herself, requested or even intimated that I modify this article.
Harley Johnstone, in contrast, remains an irredeemable cunt and I hope he dies soon.
South Australia: Apart from beautiful Kangaroo Island, the place really doesn't have many redeeming features. Of all the Australian states and territories, it has the highest unemployment rate, the highest obesity rate, and the second-lowest mean household income. Despite its relative lack of amenities and opportunities, South Australia costs more to run per capita than any other state in Australia, thanks to years of stagnation and government ineptitude. Despite its economic disadvantage, the state has the highest fees and fines in the nation; its leaders are so lacking in strategy and vision, their only ongoing strategy to increase much-needed revenue is to tax and fine their constituency higher and harder. South Australia's traffic fine system, in fact, has been dubbed the "most unfair traffic fine system" in the nation.
So lacking are the opportunities in SA, it is now pinning its hopes on economic recovery by becoming a dump site for the world's nuclear waste.
And, as anyone in the know (from both sides of the law) will tell you, the place is a well-known drug hub in a country that, along with New Zealand, has the highest rate of recreation drug use in the world.
Thanks to its lack of amenities and social and economic opportunities, South Australia has an unusually large exodus of people fleeing to the Eastern states in search of a better life.
And so it is not entirely surprising that from this economically deprived, socially barren wasteland emerges one of the most bizarre figures in the entire diet and 'health' arena: Internet troll Harley “Durianrider” Johnstone.
This cretin’s primary claims to fame are – wait for it - gorging on bananas, being an obnoxious asshole, and riding his bicycle up a hill. Oh, he did write a book once, a true literary classic for the ages called Carb the Fuck Up! In his opus magnum, the abusive Johnstone compared his then-girlfriend Leanne "Freelee" Ratcliffe to a prostitute, boasted of the thousands of dollars he claimed to have made monthly from his libelous YouTube videos, and claimed he didn't care who he pissed off. Johnstone does care, however, when the people he pisses off confront him and demand he repeat his toxic bullshit to their faces. When this happens, the self-proclaimed hard man suddenly turns into a scared, shaking little piss-ant, and runs straight to the cops. But more on that later.
Johnstone runs a website called 30 Bananas a Day, and his email signature includes the proud claim “i eat up to 70 bananas a day..check our site at www.30bananasaday.com”[sic].
Johnstone aggressively markets himself as a nutrition expert and paragon of a healthy lifestyle, and has vigorously encouraged others to adopt his fruitarian ways, using hyperbolic health claims as the bait.
You’d have to be pretty bloody gullible to take seriously the ridiculous dietary recommendations of a lunatic like Johnstone, but as history has repeatedly shown, the human species suffers no shortage of credulous fools. As H. L. Mencken once noted, “Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.” If Mencken had spent time in Australia, he no doubt would’ve reached a similar conclusion about residents of the land Down Under. Like the US, Australians suffer unusually high rates of obesity and eagerly embrace all manner of fad diets and health scams.
Capitalizing on the fact many people will believe pretty much anything, Johnstone has attracted something of a cult Internet following. And despite the clearly idiotic nature of their dietary recommendations, he's even featured on a number of mainstream Australian TV segments. As with American journalists, Australian reporters are often unquestioning individuals of dubious intelligence who place a story’s rating potential far above its veracity and quality.
Not surprisingly, many of Johnstone’s followers have seen their health quickly deteriorate after adopting what has to be one of the more patently absurd fads to emerge from the Suckernet in a long, long time.
Symptoms reported by followers of his “8/1/1” and “Raw Till 4” vegan diets on the 30 Bananas a Day forum include debilitating fatigue and muscle pain, joint pain, worsening depression and irritability, rapid weight gain, intense stomach pain, severe chest pain, “crippling”, intense”, “terrible” and “agonizing” back pain, gallbladder and liver pain, heart pain, foot pain, tooth/gum/jaw pain, throat pain, bloating, diarrhea, nausea, and hair loss.
Here's just a sampling, taken from their own website, of the many health problems people have experienced after adopting the absurd dietary recommendations of Johnstone:
Update, March 7, 2016: A reader alerted me this morning that after this article went live on March 3, someone has been busy removing the unflattering content of the pages below. I checked, and sure enough, many of the links are now returning "Page Not Found" messages.
Update, March 8, 2016: Another reader has kindly written to point out that Google keeps cached webpages. Most of these are still available and can be found by doing a Google search of the web address/URL. Clicking on the Google result link will show the page no longer exists. But to the right of the link on the Google search there is usually a downwards pointing arrow. If you click on this, you are offered a cached version of the webpage.
Tooth, gum and jaw pain
Bloating, diarrhea, nausea
Gallbladder and liver pain
Yep, his diets sound like real winners.
One individual who - clearly against her better judgement - decided to follow the advice of Johnstone and then-girlfriend Ratcliffe was Sandra Bachiyr, from New South Wales. Suckered by the “unlimited calories” exhortations of the duo, who claimed eating ungodly amounts of fruit would not make you fat, she started eating ungodly amounts of fruit … and became fat.
And very sick.
Bachiyr says she began "the 30 bananas a day diet" in January 2012, and it was all downhill from there: "I was rushed to hospital on July 20th, 2012 and nearly died from a pulmonary embolism caused by my weight gain from their high-sugar diet."
When Bachiyr began blogging about her experiences to warn others, Johnstone automatically resorted to his usual defense strategy: Malicious lies and thinly veiled threats.
Johnstone posted a PDF on his site in which he claimed Bachiyr had been "banned off YouTube for using CHILD PORNOGRAPHY pictures she would photo Freelee’s face onto!!!”[sic].
Accusing someone of child porn is a pretty serious matter. Johnstone assures his readers he has screenshots of the offending images but says they are “too graphic to share”. Someone needs to inform Johnstone that storing pornographic images of kids on your computer is a very serious crime here in Australia. Or maybe he simply has no such screenshots; when Bachiyr publicly offered Johnstone $10,000 to prove his slanderous claims about her, the loud-mouthed vegan suddenly went silent.
It goes without saying that only an utter lowlife would falsely accuse someone of child pornography. Johnstone, however, has no compunction about concocting malicious bullshit about the objects of his disaffection, then posting it on the Internet in the hopes his equally stupid followers will believe it.
Harley Johnstone: A Cycling Legend in his Own Mind
In January 2012, a reader from Melbourne emailed a link to a forum post where Johnstone was claiming he’d challenged me to come riding with him but I’d demurred due to fear of having my ‘ass kicked’. According to Johnstone, yours truly “doesnt want to hit the local bergs with me cos he knows I will kick his a’ss and make a blog post about it lol!) Come on AC, step up brah! Corkscrew is only 2.56km!”[sic]
Johnstone, shameless liar that he is, had made no such challenge. In fact, prior to reading the blog post I had no idea who Johnstone was. Nonetheless, I happily called his bluff with one small proviso: Johnstone had to match my bodyweight (at the time, I weighed a muscular 81kg, the scrawny Johnstone claimed to weigh 66kg). A light bodyweight is a huge advantage in road cycling, especially when climbing hills, which is why most elite and professional road cyclists are so tiny (sprint track cyclists, on the other hand, tend to be built like brick outhouses). So to be sure whoever won the race up Corkscrew Road did so on the basis of superior fitness and not favourable physics, it was only fair the lighter person either bulked up or donned a weight vest to eliminate the weight difference (my stipulation was actually still in Johnstone’s favour, as his claimed height of 6’6” is several inches taller than mine. By all rights, I should have calculated my weight per inch of height then applied the resultant figure to his height, which would have resulted in an even higher target bodyweight for Johnstone).
Once again, when called on his self-aggrandizing hogwash the normally vocal Johnstone suddenly suffered stage fright, and ignored my acceptance of his challenge. He did, however, continue to talk trash about me on his website forum.
“I’m a 1%er!”
And so I decided to issue a little challenge of my own. I once read a post in which the emaciated Johnstone claimed to be among the top 1% of strongest people in the world (!), even though Youtube footage shows him struggling to bench press a pathetic 65kg for a mere six reps:
I invited the hopelessly deluded Johnstone to showcase his self-perceived superhuman strength to the world in the form of a powerlifting contest. There are plenty of gyms in Adelaide at which Johnstone and I could have faced off on the squat, deadlift and bench. But once again, the motor-mouthed vegan suddenly became gun-shy.
This kind of behavior is par for the course with Johnstone. He loves to boast about his physical prowess and especially goes out of his way to portray himself as an outstanding cyclist. However, his proof of this is limited to posting (unverifiable) Strava times and ride mileages on the Internet, practices that simply don’t cut it given Australia’s abundant bicycle racing opportunities. While Adelaide is hardly the most exciting city in Australia, it does have a robust cycling scene with plenty of clubs and weekly racing events (world class road and track cyclists including Anna Meares, Rohan Dennis and Jack Bobridge call Adelaide home). The city also hosts periodic hill-climbing time trials. Thus, there are abundant competitive opportunities for Johnstone to display his self-proclaimed cycling abilities.
But he doesn’t.
I can only surmise that, judging from his posted times and his performances on group rides with other local cyclists I’ve spoken to, Johnstone knows full well he’d get his ass handed to him in the intermediate category – by guys who are ten years older, hold full-time jobs, and whose idea of ‘doping’ is enjoying a double-shot espresso before a big ride.
Yep, much easier to brag about your Strava times on the Internet than actually get out and prove yourself against real cyclists. After it became clear to me Johnstone was all talk and no action, I promptly wrote him off as the attention-seeking buffoon he was and went about my business.
Things soon took a more sinister turn, though. Johnstone makes his living from advertising revenues garnered every time someone clicks on one of his Youtube videos (free tip: If you don’t want to financially support this repugnant individual, don’t click on his videos). When Johnstone perceives that this income stream is under threat due to what he regards as unfair aspersions on his impeccable character, we get to see the real Johnstone in all his angry, hateful glory.
In early 2012, ex-vegan Tom Billings created a post on the Beyondveg.com website titled “Investigating Raw Vegan and Other Diet Gurus: Can You Trust Them?” Billings has written extensively about his experiences in the fruitarian and raw vegan movements, and the hostility and hypocrisy that abounds within them. His 2012 post catalogues a long list of both proven and alleged misdeeds by vegan diet gurus. One of those who got a mention was Johnstone, who has admitted he previously received disability welfare payments for a period of time after allegedly being hit by a bus whilst riding his bike. Billings had linked to a blogger who claimed the dates of cycling performances Johnstone had boasted about on the Internet coincided with the time frame he was reportedly receiving the disability payments. While Billings linked to the blog post in question, he made no accusations himself; he merely noted that the allegations had been made. After discovering Billing’s new post, I wrote a brief heads-up for it on my own website. My article summarized the key points of Billings’ post, and briefly noted in a throwaway sentence:
“Raw vegan and serial attention-whore Harley ‘Durianrider’ Johnstone also gets a few mentions as well, for allegations of welfare fraud and physical threats against fellow vegan David Wolfe.”
Like Billings, I made no accusations of my own – I simply reported allegations had been made by others, something virtually every newspaper in the world does on a daily basis. The thin-skinned Johnstone, however, promptly choked on whatever number banana he was up to for that day and went ape. He began emailing me with demands to remove the mention of welfare fraud (he did not deny and in fact laughed off the threats made against Wolfe, which were the subject of a California lawsuit, as “fun”). When these emails went unanswered, he threatened to release my books onto torrent file-sharing websites:
“Im gonna go to bed and if I don't see that sentence about 'Durianrider is a welfare fraud' removed by the time I get up to go training in the morning, magically I can only imagine your books are gonna be put on the torrents and spammed all over the relevant forums. Not to mention I assume some people might make up some nasty shit about you and spread it all over my social media channels to a few hundred thousand people over the next few years.
Its better to be on my right side than wrong side bro. So when the spammers start spamming about AC on my turf that I will take care of it for you vs leave it up and pretend I don't see it.
Wow, what a tough guy (not to mention a moron: Let the record show there was no sentence stating “Durainrider is a welfare fraud”). I’m not sure where Johnstone got the idea I take orders from emaciated assholes, but nonetheless I left the post as it was, and you can still read it in its original entirety at:
Be sure to check it out!
Having failed miserably in his laughable attempt to come off like an intimidating Internet hardman, the stick-figured Johnstone then moved onto his next phase: Posting blatant lies about me on his website in a desperate attempt to discredit me. Yep, according to Johnstone, I was an obese steroid user who lived off welfare blah blah blah. Using the alias “Adelaide Andy”, Johnstone claimed that in 2005 I trained with him at an Adelaide Fitness First gym and that he sold steroids to me. And here’s the serial moron, using the same alias, claiming that I wrote a blog about how I take steroids (!):
Notice how Johnstone provides no screenshots or even hyperlinks to this alleged blog. There’s a reason for that:
It never existed.
Yep, Johnstone’s sleazy campaign was disingenuous from the outset, due to several key flaws.
Firstly, if you’re going to use a false name to post malicious nonsense about someone, it’s probably a good idea to do it from a different IP address than the one associated with your real name!
Secondly, it’s extremely dimwitted to claim you sold steroids to and trained alongside someone in an Adelaide gym when at the time that someone was well known to live interstate in Melbourne, Victoria (some 900 km from Adelaide). Not to mention that I've never even set foot in a Fitness First gym, let alone trained in one.
Thirdly, it’s especially stupid to carry on like steroid usage is some kind of supreme evil - then admit you yourself sold steroids.
Fourth, it's especially stupid to carry on like steroid usage is some kind of supreme evil when you use them yourself, and even post footage of yourself proudly waving around a vial of the steroid Sustanon 250, bragging about how easy it is to get a doctor's script for them in Thailand, and boasting about the huge quantity of steroids you have at your place (see further down for video footage).
And finally, it’s really, really stupid to throw such an unbecoming tantrum over allegations of welfare fraud when you have publicly encouraged people to commit credit card fraud! Yep, when one of his US followers complained they couldn’t afford to attend a vegan festival in the US, Johnstone imparted the following advice:
“Get a credit card and max it out. You don’t have to pay it back. NOBODY got put in jail cos they couldn’t pay a personal credit debt in the US.”
Like most of what Johnstone says, this is rubbish. As this article from Minnesota’s Star Tribune explains, people in the USA have indeed been arrested and jailed for failing to repay credit card debts as small as $250:
Clearly, intelligence is not one of Johnstone’s strong points.
After I went to the trouble and expense of hiring a lawyer, Johnstone stopped emailing me under his real name, but continued to taunt me via a fake alias, claimed I was "obese" on his website, and refused to take down the patently defamatory material he had already posted about me.
The Attention-Seeking and Lies Continue
In early 2015, South Australia’s daily newspaper was reporting on a feud that had erupted between Johnstone, Ratcliffe and two other Adelaide residents: A personal trainer by the name of Kayla Itsines who authored a book called The Bikini Body Guide, and her boyfriend Tobias Pearce. The latter had launched legal action for defamation against Johnstone and Ratcliffe. Among documents tendered by Itsinis’ lawyer was Johnstone’s book Carb the Fuck Up!, in which the feral fruit-gorger boasts he’s “not here to make friends” and “doesn’t care” who he offends while making $10,000 a month from his various YouTube channels. The following passages are especially revealing:
“Yep, easy money isn’t it just for doing videos on health, sharks, bike stuff and pimping out my girlfriend ... hey, sex sells and so does the fear of sharks ... We troll the internet with the health message and use whatever means possible to get that message out there ... swearing, sharks or cleavage usually works pretty good ... I’m 37, (have) zero debt (and have) enough money in the bank to retire in about 100 different countries for the rest of my life ... thanks, YouTube!”
And thanks Johnstone, for revealing the real reason you are so militant with your ‘health’ message: Not to educate people or fight misinformation (bit hard to do that when you’re a reckless disseminator of dangerous hogwash yourself) but to make money. I suspected this all along, but nice to hear it straight from the horse’s mouth.
Interestingly, Johnstone was fond of portraying the relationship between himself and Ratcliff as one of pimp and prostitute. In addition to the Carb the Fuck Up! excerpts, here’s a revealing reply he left to a Youtube comment:
Johnstone's unbecoming remarks are hardly surprising given the generally poor regard in which he holds women. According to Johnstone: "Most women out there, most girls, 16-25 year old, most, not all, most, are basic handbag-wearing bitches."
Johnstone, explaining how he really feels about women, and also inadvertently explaining how he's managed to attract such a sizable and gullible following.
What a charmer.
Harley Johnstone: The "Anti-Steroid" User of Steroids
Among the complaints of Itsines and Pearce was that Johnstone had accused the latter of using steroids. This, as you may by now have surmised, is another longstanding tactic of Johnstone; when he comes across pictures of someone who is bigger and stronger than he is - which is pretty much every other male in the fitness industry - Johnstone promptly accuses them, without any proof whatsoever, of using steroids. Heaven forbid Johnstone consider the real reason those people are bigger and stronger than him is because, unlike him, they eat an adequate diet and are capable of applying sound resistance training principles.
And here's the real cracker:
After years of belittling and falsely accusing others of steroid use, Johnstone has finally admitted to what many of us suspected all along: He uses them himself.
Yep, when others [allegedly] use steroids, Johnstone rails like a brimstone preacher, but when he uses them, it's for "dental surgery" (?) and an "experiment".
"Doc, I've got this really buffed molar that's bothering me!"
"Gee, son, you'll definitely need an eight-week course of Sustanon 250 to deal with that!"
The guy is a pathetic, shameless hypocrite.
Johnstone, rampant bullshit-peddler that he is, would have us believe that he no longer uses the gear. But in the video below, Johnstone proudly wields a vial of Sustanon 250 (a popular anabolic drug comprised of four different testosterone esters), and boasts of the large volume of steroids he still has at his place. He boasts of how easy it is to get a doctor's prescription (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) for the gear in Thailand, and describes how folks outside of Thailand can obtain steroids - specifically testosterone enanthate - by deceiving their doctors. Those unaware of these deceitful tactics for obtaining anabolic drugs are labelled dumb "mother****ers" by Johnstone.
Why does Johnstone still have such a large stash of roids at his house if he is no longer using them? Why does Johnstone need a prescription for Sustanon 250? Have his bizarre dietary and lifestyle habits rendered him hypogonadal? If so, he may have a legitimate medical need for them. But treatment of hypogonadism (clinically established low testosterone levels) requires only modest doses of anabolic agents so, again, why does Johnstone have such a large stash at his place?
Or is the truth that he uses them (unsuccessfully, it would seem) to stem the catabolic and emaciating effects of his protein- and nutrient-deficient diet and high-volume exercise regime? If the latter is the case, then he's using them for the very same reason he indiscriminately and falsely attacks others for:
Loads of "Sustanon Two-fitty" and the guy is still built like an undernourished broomstick. That 65 kg bench press is starting to look even more pathetic now.
And this huckster presents himself as an expert on diet and fitness training ...
If Johnstone is hypogonadal, whatever happened to the magnificent health effects of his bizarre vegan diet that he incessantly wanks on about? If all his "RT4", "80/10/10", vegan/fruitarian carry on is truly so healthy, why does he need injectable steroids to keep his hormone levels up?
Further evidence that Johnstone is nowhere near as healthy as he would have us believe comes from the following blood work he posted on YouTube:
Those of you with even a modicum of medical knowledge will have immediately noticed Johnstone's white blood cell count is way out of the normal range. This is pretty much a flashing red light that reads "IMMUNE DYSFUNCTION!"
Johnstone claims this elevated WBC is from "stress". Not sure what kind of immune-thrashing stress you encounter when your whole life revolves around bumming in Thailand and posting crap on the internet - maybe being one of the most hated people on the Internet is finally starting to get to the poor dear. Two other possible scenarios immediately come to mind:
--Johnstone has picked up some nasty-ass infection. I'll refrain from speculating on exactly what kind of infection he might have picked up in a place like Thailand.
--Johnstone's body is struggling to meet the demands of his (claimed) high volume running and cycling regimen while following his protein- and nutrient-deficient vegan diet.
This is another thing I can't emphasize enough to people: Most of these so-called diet and health gurus, who claim to be in possession of superhuman health as a result of following the diet they are trying to sell you, are usually in possession of no such thing. Harley Johnstone carries on like he's the guv'ner, but his blood test results evince a guy whose immune system is about as robust as a wet noodle.
It's also worth noting that, despite his claims he no longer takes steroids, he did not post any blood testosterone results in the aforementioned video. Hmmm ...
Coke, Speed and Friends Who Eat Poo
I should point out at this juncture I personally believe the decision to use steroids should be an individual matter, so long as the person is a grown adult who does not compete in a sport with an anti-doping code. I find it nothing short of insane that anyone over the age of eighteen (here in Australia) is perfectly free to smoke cancer-causing cigarettes and pound their liver into oblivion with an endless array of alcoholic beverages, but faces criminal prosecution lest they dare use even low-dose steroids to gain a few pounds of muscle and push their squat poundage a bit higher. But while I remain distinctly unimpressed by the reigning anti-steroid hysteria, I do think using drugs like cocaine and methamphetamines is truly stupid, and Johnstone freely admits to having used both in the past:
I will also state without any hesitation whatsoever that I believe taking steroids is far more healthful and infinitely preferable to eating one's own faeces, another repulsive activity that leaves Johnstone unfazed. In a 2009 post he proudly stated:
"ive got a mate that eats his own crap. and i think its cool that he speaks openly about it but i don't think its a health building practise."[sic]
Yeah, me neither.
Anyway, on March 31, 2015, Ratcliffe and Johnstone consented to a settlement and thereby avoided a trial for alleged defamation. The duo agreed to take down YouTube videos critical of Itsines, and further agreed not to produce any further videos "nor speak to electronic or print media about Ms Itsines or her boyfriend, bodybuilder Tobias Pearce." Sounds pretty clear and simple to me, but when asked outside court, the semi-literate Johnstone said he was “not too clear” on what the settlement entailed other than “basically keep your opinion to yourself.”
No Johnstone, it means don't concoct blatant lies about people and post it on the Internet. Doing so isn't exercising freedom of speech, it's being a malicious asshole.
As is threatening to cut people’s throats.
Yep, Harley the wanna-be hardman isn’t above threatening to slash people’s throats when they criticize his dubious claims and idiotic antics. Over the Internet of course, where the object of his disaffection can’t slash back. Again, here’s Johnstone in all his psychopathic glory, threatening to cut a Gold Coast reader’s throat:
Gee, that’s not very becoming behavior for a “Vegan Athlete driven & dedicated to making a positive impact for all beings on the planet”, is it now? (This was Johnstone’s byline on his Twitter page as of June 29, 2015).
More Deluded Bullshit from Doucherider
As if all the above idiocy wasn't enough, serial liar Johnstone began claiming in early 2016 that I "sucker punched" him whilst he was riding his bicycle. He even went to the criminal organization known as South Australia Police (or SAPOL as this repugnant outfit likes to call itself, apparently due to its suffering delusions of INTERPOL-like relevancy) and filed a false report. You can read more about this at the following links:
Despite claiming he had "the whole thing on camera", Johnstone has yet to come forward to claim his $10,000. He is also yet to present this footage to the clueless twats at SAPOL.
Also, Johnstone created a fake YouTube account under the name "Anthony Colpo" and used this fake account to post incriminating comments under the two defamatory "sucker punch" videos he had posted. After I found out about this and alerted YouTube, the fake account has since been cancelled:
For those who can't read Italian, the highlighted text at the above link basically says "This account has been closed due to a violation of YouTube's policy prohibiting identity theft."
Yep, he's a real piece of shit, this Harley Johnstone.
He's also a pathetic coward. Johnstone clearly has a major issue with me, so I invited him to step in the ring so we could sort out our differences, man to weasel. But while happy to talk shit about me on the Internet and incessantly portray himself as a fearsome hard man who has survived prison life (as it turns out, the incarceration he brags about at every opportunity was simply a single day in juvenile detention for graffiti), Johnstone has remained overwhelmingly silent in response. Others have also challenged him to meet face to face, and in every instance Johnstone has failed to respond, instead preferring to sit behind his computer and launch cowardly attacks like the pathetic little pansy he is.
Harley “Durianrider” Johnstone: Liar, hypocrite, braggart, coward, former cocaine and meth user, owner and apparent user of large quantities of steroids, self-proclaimed “pimp”, friend of people who (literally) eat shit, and living proof that anyone who claims meat avoidance promotes a “peaceful nature” and has a “calming effect” is completely full of shit.
The only individuals more pathetic than Johnstone are those of you who actually take him seriously. To each and every Johnstone follower out there, consider this: Your mother went through a whole bunch of pain passing a watermelon-sized package to bring you into this world, then had to spend the next couple of years wiping your butt and cleaning up your puke. Your parents then spent countless hours and hundreds of thousands of dollars to feed, house and put you through school - and you thank them by growing up to be some brain-dead twat who earnestly believes the dietary advice disseminated by a feral, banana-gorging, hate-mongering bogan piece of shit.
Note: If you find Johnstone's behaviour as repugnant as I do, have been the victim of his sleazy, defamatory, attention-grabbing online antics, or know someone who is contemplating following his dangerous dietary advice, then please feel free to share this article far and wide.
- See copies of Johnstone’s emails at: Colpo A. Durianrider: 66 Kilograms of Obnoxious, Unabashed Ignorance. com, Jan 22, 2012. Available online: http://anthonycolpo.com/durianrider-66-kilograms-of-obnoxious-unabashed-ignorance/
- See: Bachyr S. "Terminate Freelee the Banana Girl and Durianrider's Multiple YouTube Accounts and Internet Sites and Ban Them for Life." Change.org. Available online (accessed June 27, 2015): https://www.change.org/p/youtube-terminate-freelee-the-banana-girl-and-durianrider-s-multiple-youtube-accounts-and-internet-sites-and-ban-them-for-life.
- The PDF in question was posted on the 30 Bananas a Day site at http://www.30bananasaday.com/forum/topics/durianrider-freelee-share-the-truth and can be viewed directly at http://api.ning.com/files/m5DCNqwNmKaDUauH-woVue-V5xlZequ7e52Et5jfcJelHulOox1OdO90wkRIE*M-kHYyBBgz5F3u1FKdy77NY3mZetnTEor*/Gimmetruthdoc.pdf (both links accessed June 26, 2015).
- Colpo A. Durianrider: 66 Kilograms of Obnoxious, Unabashed Ignorance. AnthonyColpo.com, Jan 22, 2012. Available online: http://anthonycolpo.com/durianrider-66-kilograms-of-obnoxious-unabashed-ignorance/
- In road cycling, heavier riders - no matter how lean, fit and strong they may be - suffer a distinct disadvantage due to the extra weight they must propel. Upper body musculature, while eminently useful in a whole host of other sports and activities, is essentially dead weight in road cycling, which is why most pro road cyclists have upper body development approaching pre-pubescent levels. Furthermore, larger riders possess greater frontal surface areas, which greatly increases air drag. Here’s a novel experiment captured on video, conducted at the University of Bath, capturing the energy-draining effect of bike heavier bike and rider weight:
- Along with Elgin Intensity’s hilarious video, Johnstone's less-than-impressive bench press attempt is recorded in "The Durianrider Fitness Test: Durianrider VS the trolls. Who is fitter AND stronger? ;)", Youtube, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ez5pP2PSkgg (accessed June 29, 2015).
- Fewster S. Bikini Girl versus Banana Girl: starlet’s boyfriend says he makes $10K ‘pimping her out’ on YouTube. The Advertiser, March 26, 2015. Available online (accessed June 29, 2015): http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/news/south-australia/bikini-girl-versus-banana-girl-starlets-boyfriend-says-he-makes-10k-pimping-her-out-on-youtube/story-fni6uo1m-1227279997668
- Fewster S. SA court told fitness guru Kayla Itsines and Freelee the Banana Girl have settled their defamation stoush without trial. The Courier Mail, March 31, 2015. Available online (accessed June 29, 2015): http://m.couriermail.com.au/news/national/sa-court-told-fitness-guru-kayla-itsines-and-freelee-the-banana-girl-have-settled-their-defamation-stoush-without-trial/story-fnii5yv5-1227286028720